Cringe-Inducing Children’s Books by Great Thinkers

     

     Throughout the centuries, many great thinkers from Socrates to Sartre have asked great questions such as “what is the meaning of life,” “how can one be a good man,” and “what sort of government is best?” One question they have not asked is “Why don’t I write a children’s book?” I think this list will demonstrate why.

Karl Popper’s Penguins

Curious George and the Will To Power by Friedrich Nietzche

Tummy Troubles by Jean-Paul Sartre

All My Friends Are Imaginary Friends by Richard Rorty

Sign, Structure and Playtime by Jacques Derrida

Hop on Pop’s Grave by Sigmund Freud

A Little Princess by Niccolo Machiavelli

The Adventures of Tom Aquinas 

Alexander Hamilton and the Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Articles of Confederation

The Little Engine that Had the Courage To Be by Jean-Paul Sartre

The Paul Tillich Bible Storybook

Winnie-the-Pooh and the imminent proletarian uprising of the Hundred-Acre Wood by Karl Marx

A Hole Is Necessarily To Dig by Alvin Plantinga

The Ontological Argument Coloring Book by Anselm of Canterbury

I would have come up with more, but one can only suppress the gag reflex for so long.